I was in my studio the other day listening to one of those discover weekly playlists on spotify. The idea is that it curates a playlist of songs you’ve probably not heard but would like based on your listening history. Usually it misses the mark but this time spotify really nailed it. 

A song comes on called “Ezra” by an artist I’ve never heard of– Becca VanDerbeck. My eight year old’s name is Ezra so I started listening carefully. It’s a love song. To a child. And it pierced my heart. 

I knew for the next painting in my figure series I had to paint this image I’ve been holding onto– it’s a photo my sister snapped on her iphone. It’s blurry. The lighting is bad. I adore it. We were at the beach outside the air b&b where I got married. It was the day before the wedding. Ezra didn’t want to take a picture with me. I’m wrapping him in a hug he is half-heartedly trying to get away from. 

I joke that he came into this world like a hurricane– I wasn’t really prepared though I had tried to be. He turned my world upside down. We ended up on our own for a while. And then, last May we became part of a bigger family. He loves his new brothers and step-dad more than words can say. He thinks each one of them hung the moon, though he’d never admit it. 

Ezra, without a doubt, was the reason I became an artist. He was the reason I kept going when everything else went dark around me. If I could write a love song to him, this would be it.

“Ezra” by Becca VanDerbeck

Ezra, i love you, i love you, i do

Your eyes are as deep as

The ocean is blue

Boy, the way you laugh you

Know it brightens up a room

Oh ezra, i love you, i love you, i do

If you ever need me

All you have to do is call

The world is pretty big but boy

I hope you see it all

And though you’ll have your questions kid

Please know this much is true

Ezra, i love you, i love you, i do

Honey how i wonder what

This life for you will be

Will it take you to the mountains?

Will it take you to the sea?

Whether high upon the tallest peak

Or way down in the deep

Forever my baby, my baby you will be

Someday you’ll find a

Place where you belong

Somewhere to settle down and plant

Your roots, and grow up strong

Oh, i hope that you’ll remember all

My silly little songs

Honey, please remember these

Few things in all you do

Won’t you always love your neighbor

Wear a smile, and tell the truth

Don’t be scared of what you don’t know

And don’t be afraid to loose

Cause there’s a lesson there for

Learnin’, there’s a lesson if you choose

Oh and listen, kid, i promise i will

Always see you through

Cause ezra, i love you, i love you, i do

Oh ezra, i love you, i love you, i do

Ezra, i love you, i love you, i do