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“Snark” 10×10, oil on canvas. Buy Now

Have you heard of humans of New York? Every Friday, I’d like to offer you humans of Louisiana in paintings rather than photographs. Today, meet Jen, a wonderfully colorful college student.

The conversation I’ve had with almost every person in my dorm–
“What do you study?”
I’m an English major!
“But wait. I thought you said you were American. Why are you studying English? Isn’t that kind of silly?”

Aw gee. Now that I think about it you’re right. Everyone knows everything about their native language from birth. There is no reason to analyze anything said or written in your mother tongue. That’s just stupid. It’s not like there’s anyone else in the world who might want to learn about English. It’s not like students need to know how to write essays for college or be able to make sound, valid arguments. We’re all just born with this knowledge. You have no need to learn or hone any of these skills. All English speakers please go to your respective universities and demand they hand you an English degree because you’re already an expert. Applying for employment in publishing, marketing, publicity, journalism, technical writing, creative writing, politics, education, etc.? You’re good to go! You need no additional training or skills to enter any of these fields. You already know everything about the inner workings of our language just by being raised to speak it. Everyone just stop studying your native language. No country has any need to study the linguistic trends or literature of their respective cultures. It doesn’t trigger thoughtful debate, shifts in societal practices, or law reform. It’s all just silly and has no impact on your life whatsoever. MY HOW SILLY WE’VE ALL BEEN!

 

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