Day 31. Blessing for the Seeker

“Seeking, Striving, in it with all my Heart” 48x48in oil on canvas

“I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart.”

-Vincent Van Gogh

This is the part where I stare at the blinking cursor on my screen. Because there’s a jumble of thoughts, of what I could or should or want to say to bring the whole thing full circle, to express my gratitude, my pervasive hope that creating matters– to our spirit, to our homes, to our world. What a wild thought.

Today’s painting is large. I’ve been working on it on and off all month long, and this morning I put the final touches on it, stood back to look at it, and was overcome by how hard this month was, how much joy it produced. 

My dear community of fellow 31ers, I have many times this month been awed by you, your work, your vulnerability. You’ve made me laugh and cry. You’ve made me hopeful. I’ve been impressed, jealous (not super proud of that one), moved, curious, excited. But most of all, I’ve felt supported and held by a precious community. I hope you have felt the same.

I wrote a blessing as a companion to today’s painting. It’s for the seeker, the 31er. It’s for you. 

 

For the Seeker, A Blessing

May you uncover not only what you seek

But what the soil of your search makes bloom

Not only what you are certain of

But mysteries holding together that which fades

 

May the light that is already yours

(and always has been)

Find new cracks and crevices

Into which to pour and reveal itself

 

And when petals turn brown and crisp

Clinging, absurdly to what is disappearing

May their memory guide you

To your next discovery

 

But until it beckons, 

May you stand still, awed, 

long enough to know

The joy of flight

The blessing of travel

The gift of the season that was

And will be

Again.

All 31 coming exclusively to my subscribers list tomorrow Feb. 1 at 8pm. Make sure you’re on it here.

 

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Day 30. Ride the waves

“Circling Back” 8×8 oil on canvas

If you aren’t a painter, let me describe the typical process for you. 1. An idea! 2. A decent start with the first few marks of the piece. 3. Looks like trash. 4. Looks like the most glorious things you or anyone else has ever created 5. Looks like trash again. 6. Looks fine. 

I don’t know why such extremes are involved, but I’ve talked with enough painters to know that it’s not just me, we somehow require them.

Today’s painting was extra extreme for me. Moments of glory and devastation all wrapped up into a tiny little 8×8 inch canvas. I’ve ended where I usually do: it’s fine. It’ll do. And tomorrow, well, tomorrow, there will be potential for magic once again. Rinse, Repeat. 

The month is closing out more quickly than I could have imagined a couple weeks ago when time was moving slower than a herd of snails traveling through peanut butter. But here I am with only one day left. One more attempt to ride the waves of emotion that show up every time without getting thrown out into the abyss.

All 31 coming exclusively to my subscribers list Feb. 1 at 8pm. Make sure you’re on it here.

 

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Day 31. Blessing for the Seeker

"Seeking, Striving, in it with all my Heart" 48x48in oil on canvas “I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart.” -Vincent Van Gogh This is the part where I stare at the blinking cursor on my screen. Because there’s a jumble of thoughts, of what I could...

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Day 29. Probably had been for quite some time.

“Expanded Horizons” 10×10 oil on canvas

This bird has been my mind all month, but I’ve resisted the urge to do 31 paintings of her. I’ve seen several since the start of the month: on a drive where she flew over me for at least a mile and I had to force myself to focus on the road, when I was leaving for a run and just yards from my house and she hovered above me as though ordaining the journey. 

There’s that saying about love: you find it when you stop looking. But maybe it’s not that we stop looking. Maybe it’s more that we find it when we stop looking only in one spot. I stopped seeking out that one Great Blue Heron in that one spot by the train tracks. And without a one track mind, the blinders lifted, and she was everywhere. Probably had been for quite some time.

All 31 coming exclusively to my subscribers list Feb. 1 at 8pm. Make sure you’re on it here.

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Day 31. Blessing for the Seeker

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Day 28. For A New Beginning

“Courage Kindled” 6×6 oil on canvas

Today’s painting did not come swiftly or easily. I scratched off more of it than I added. But, in the end, I really think this is the painting that wanted to be brought to the surface. This is the one that took all that scraping off to get to. 

 

For a New Beginning

by John O’Donohue

 

In out-of-the-way places of the heart,

Where your thoughts never think to wander,

This beginning has been quietly forming,

Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

 

For a long time it has watched your desire,

Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,

Noticing how you willed yourself on,

Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

 

It watched you play with the seduction of safety

And the gray promises that sameness whispered,

Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,

Wondered would you always live like this.

 

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,

And out you stepped onto new ground,

Your eyes young again with energy and dream,

A path of plenitude opening before you.

 

Though your destination is not yet clear

You can trust the promise of this opening;

Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning

That is at one with your life’s desire.

 

Awaken your spirit to adventure;

Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;

Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,

For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

All 31 coming exclusively to my subscribers list Feb. 1 at 8pm. Make sure you’re on it here.

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Day 31. Blessing for the Seeker

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Day 27. The bird is coming from inside the house.

“Breakthrough” 6×6 oil on canvas

Today’s painting started off just as the egret, but I placed it too far to the top of the canvas which in turn made the whole thing just beg for a figure. And the stripes? Those are an experiment. Let me know what you think? 

I can’t get enough of these elegant coastal birds, the Great Blue Heron, The Great Egret. I must not be the only one, because whoever named them did so using the accurate but not very creative or scientific word “great”. They are great. They fill me with awe.

These paintings are not of hats. They are of ideas. The bird is coming from inside the house.

All 31 coming exclusively to my subscribers list Feb. 1 at 8pm. Make sure you’re on it here.

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I had two friends reach out recently about hardships they are facing. The kind of hardships that feel so unfair, so unnecessary. Both times I immediately thought of Mary Oliver’s poem, “Hurricane” which I have taken to reading nearly every morning. I’d love to create...

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Day 31. Blessing for the Seeker

"Seeking, Striving, in it with all my Heart" 48x48in oil on canvas “I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart.” -Vincent Van Gogh This is the part where I stare at the blinking cursor on my screen. Because there’s a jumble of thoughts, of what I could...

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Day 26. Easy to miss

“Morning Walk” 8×8, oil on canvas

I’m looking at my line up of paintings from the month, and if there’s a “which one is not like the others,” it’s this one. I started a folder on my phone called “morning walks” just in case I ever wanted to refer back to some little discovery in a painting. Today’s painting references one of those photos where a little patch of land between two buildings on my morning walk struck me as particularly rich in color. 

Over the years, I’ve gotten away from direct landscapes even though aspects of them always make it into my figurative work. There’s something odd about doing a landscape on a small surface, like trying to contain it. But this isn’t some park or some vast, sprawling grassy knoll. It’s an undeveloped lot in a small town, on my route to the coffee shop. It is contained. It is easy to miss.

I started this month with the mantra “pay attention.” So here it is, me trying to.

All 31 paintings available to email subscribers first on Feb. 1 at 8pm. Make sure you’re on the list here

Comments

Subscribe to Blog via Email

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Written by

More From The Blog

Mary Oliver’s “Hurricane”

I had two friends reach out recently about hardships they are facing. The kind of hardships that feel so unfair, so unnecessary. Both times I immediately thought of Mary Oliver’s poem, “Hurricane” which I have taken to reading nearly every morning. I’d love to create...

read more

On the seven hundredth day…

 I do a painting a day every January to set the tone for my year, establish strong creative habits, and to make sure I prioritize my art which, over the years, has become synonymous with prioritizing myself. But when February (finally) came, as it always does, life...

read more

Day 31. Blessing for the Seeker

"Seeking, Striving, in it with all my Heart" 48x48in oil on canvas “I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart.” -Vincent Van Gogh This is the part where I stare at the blinking cursor on my screen. Because there’s a jumble of thoughts, of what I could...

read more